Your goodness

I have seen Your mercy.

I have seen Your power.

Lord, Your faithfulness …

Lord, Your goodness …

and Your love will follow me all the days of my life.

I’m surrounded with the favour of the Lord, always and forever.

i think tmr gg to have splitting headache again

I had a splitting headache the whole day on Saturday. Woke up with one, ate lunch with one, cleaned up my stuff with one, went to church with one, met the noc gang with one, and finally when I am about to sleep, it’s gone. I’m tired, but I don’t feel all that sleepy. The tea from just now must be Strong! I really need to sleep though, if not I think tmr is going to be all headache again!

All my bags are packed (almost!) and I am (almost!) ready to go.

Hmm … paper for a conference … not the high level academic level lah, but still rather interesting if I get a paper into the conference, right? Ok, shall give it a shot! Hopefully all goes well …

Busy week ahead … many people to meet, got pdt trg, got errands to run, got companies to meet, got admin to complete.

Follow up … I have so many things to follow up on.

iCon Steve Jobs … I bought the book recently and I am enthralled by the tale. SJ is probably the most loved brat in the world. The most innovative person also. I see the ideals of perfection within him in me too, but I lack the brilliant eloquence and the strong desire and passion. So, my ideals are just naggy nitpicking!? Well!? …

I’m relaxed … cos’ I believe in the Eternal God. I worry not for tomorrow, for today has enough task for me to handle. Our winged friends neither sow the land nor stock a harvest yet they are fed so well by our Heavenly Father, what more us, His beloved children. Fear not!

Good night, to all.

Faith Redefined

I missed the usual adult service at 5 pm because I was in school completing the Compiler with my friend. It’s working and we have uploaded it into the CVS ready for submission. No more major changes unless there are any BIG bugs caught.

I think I’m very blessed. To be  resentful of the world would be seriously ungrateful, considering so many nice and wonderful people that God had sent my way. They each add a little colour into my life. Providing me fresh ideas, broader perspectives and sweet treats. Haha! Guess, it’s a God-given day!

Missed the adult service and went on down to the YAS or Young Adult Service and the Pastor speaking today was someone I never met before. She was very earnest and delivered a great message. At the end of all that was said, there was one thing that caught me. I shall not post the entire message as I normally do, but here’s what I took away from the service:

Do not throw away your confidence, it will be richly rewarded. – Hebrew 10: 35

In bright orange tag it appeared to the Pastor, but to me it was a resounding ’smack’ on the head.

I never doubt the victory, yet, I am so curious of what the victory will be.

No destination this time around.

Just a direction.

To lead me on …

Conversation with …

the taxi uncle as the whole bunch of us headed down to Golden Mile to get the bus tickets.

The uncle was both proud and arrogant, according to my friend. To me, he just seemed awfully shallow and sad. Yet he said that I was someone with no fighting spirit. Maybe it’s true? Perhaps.

He was talking about what every graduate would do when they are graduating, plan for their future and budget and make all the calculations, etc … I said, I didn’t and so he concluded that I was not the driven sort.

Maybe … maybe not … I’m more confused a person rather than having a lack of drive. I have a purpose, yet the purpose might not be necessary the right thing or the best thing. In fact, I will never know if it’s right.

I don’t have much room for maneuver at all … but, I shall let the world talk … i shall let the world pas me by … a friend said how good it will be if we could just live through life without any goals. “We all lived only once, why not go through it smoothly?” I don’t agree with that. Without a goal and aim, life is just waking and sleeping. There would not seem to be anything useful to do, neither would there be anything to look forward to. Each day would be a pain to live through. The sense of emptiness that would probably shroud around someone that really did not have anything in life.

Yet, how are we to be sure that we are headed in the right direction. There really isn’t a right direction, is there? I think I have been in my ivory tower for too long. Sometimes, I even envy the people that have their armoury of ‘failures’ which equip them with experience necessary to face reality. I, only hold my broom stick and still ‘play’ and imagine it to be my mighty sword. A lot of people wonder what if i was … but there is never knowing. Life is given this way and we grow this way too. Butterfly effect!? Change something and everything in the world might be so screwed you hate it even more.
Whatever it is, I want to step out. I want to step out of this place. I feel back in the tower whenever I am back in SG. It’s like I am looking at the world from a distance and everything just passes me by without my participation at all. It’s like I don’t belong. My mum showed me a phrase yesterday “天下是我容处”  which is almost a literal translation of the world is my place. For me, I’m in search of the little piece of heaven for me, for myself. I thought I knew, but perhaps it was something that someone else led me to believe that I knew. Maybe the taxi uncle was right, I just had no drive and was letting the people around me, the environment I am in the push me on. I’m like drift wood in the big blue ocean, letting the waves take me at their mercy.

Sometimes I hate myself for not knowing what exactly I want. It’s like years of ’suppression’ hides the emotions and feelings so much that there is now no feeling towards anything. No passion for any particular thing. But, I guess many people face the same issue. The sun screen song: most people are still figuring it out when they are 40. I have 15 years more to figure it out, eh?

and yes, I have an auntie that quit her very high paying job to fly all the way to the USA to take a phd in Christian theology. She’s happily graduated now and doing something she loves. It’s great that someone can be so passionate about something to give up everything. The feeling must be inspiring and all consuming. Something I guess no amount of Spinelli coffee is going to get me to that feeling of high.

So, even as I trek towards the final destination, which draws ever closer, I am not afraid of what it brings, but more upset that the destination just seems blurry and further than I thought. Two steps forward but the destination seemed to have taken two steps forward too. It’s like playing catch up and yet never catching up. Maybe it’s a sign that the destination is not right, and that I need to re-orientate and head in a new direction. Maybe it was all along with me that I needn’t head further. Maybe it was already where I had come from.

Dear God,

Sorry for being such a confused child. The signs you have sent might have fallen on deaf ears. Hit me in the head to show me the sign, instead, since I seem to be blind to signs or hints. Yet, thank you for having faith in your child,  bringing hope in my life, instilling peace in my spirit and granting me the future victory in my life. I am naught without you. Hope, I know, must not be place in things human, faith, I know, must not be in things mundane, peace, I know, is not found in things physical, victory, I know, is not found in me alone.

Amen.

GOD

Before I head to bed, I thought I wanted to fill in on the message for this afternoon’s church service. I think I did not update last week’s message, but it was really quite a useless message. Seems like there is that one pastor who just never fails to preach ‘useless’ sermons, i.e. sermons that just dun mean anything or make sense.

Anyway, the sermon today was by Pastor Dominic Yeo. He talked about experiencing God and used the scriptures from Exodus 3, that talks about Egypt, Moses and the Hebrew people. He pointed out 3 characteristics of God and they are:

1. God responds to us.

I have seen …, I have heard …, I am concerned … and I have come down to rescue … you. – Exodus 3:7-8.

- He responds by being where we are, no matter where we are.

We never ever hide from Him, for He knows our every desire, our every thought and every action. He will come to rescue us, He will be concerned for us, He is all present and all mighty.

2. God responds even before we ask.

I have to testify that this is soooooooo true. Many, many , many times, this had happened to me. Ask my friends, and they can be my witness, even if they don’t truly believe in the power of God. My (Our) God is good, my (our) God is faithful, my (our) God will overcome all odds for us.

Nothing happens by chance, the wheels have already begun to turn even before we cry out to God for help. I believe in that!

3. God responds to faith and faithfulness.

Only when we have faith can we move mountains, only when we ask in faithfulness and act in faithfulness can we achieve great things.

To this end, I once again proclaim breakthroughs in all obstacles I face, I ask for great presentations on Tuesday and on Thursday, I ask for good submission for the assignment at the end of the week, for good exams, and for wonderful … wonderful … wonderful holiday .. before the next stage in life begins.

ok … sleepys!!!

Psalms 23

The Lord is my Sheperd, I shall not want.

He makes me lie down in green pastures,
He leads me beside still waters,
He restores my soul.
He guides me in paths of righteousness for His name’s sake.

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil, for you are with me;
Your rod and your staff,
They comfort me.

You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil;
My cup overflows.
Surely goodness and love will follow me
all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.

I hate this feeling!

Feeling unusually jittery the entire day!

Perhaps, it’s the pending deadline for the project and that my report although almost done lacks the “selling factor” that would make it a reasonable project.

At the end of the year, what had I accomplish?

Something’s, probably, terribly amiss but I don’t want to think too much. I just need to believe and keep doing my best.

I guess, no matter, how much I trust and say I am strong, there are times when you suddenly back down and wonder. Probably today was it. It also probably won’t last too long, so that’s good.

1 more week.

Literally 1 more week to d-day.

and yet another 1 more week to the full evaluation.

I pray for peace of mind and wisdom to guide me on. I proclaim break throughs!

Amen.

Fit for the times (II)

So, after the hasty affair … I made it to church in time … to Thank the Lord … (“,)

This afternoon’s speaker, Rev Margeret Tay, continued from the previous week on being fit for the times.

To be fit, we must be “Driven by a sense of destiny.” and “Driven by a sense of eternity.”

She went on to highlight the difference being saved and being unsaved.

If we are not saved,
If anyone’s name was not found written in the book of life, he was thrown into the lake of fire. – Rev 20:15
The Son of Man will send out his angels, and they will weed out of his kingdom everything that causes sin and all who do evil. They will throw them into the fiery furnace, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth. – Matthew 13:41-42
Rather harsh words to begin a sermon, but she used it to contrast the rewards that believing in Christ would bring.
If we are saved,

We can ask God for anything, through Jesus Christ the Son.
And I will do whatever you ask in my name, so that the Son may bring glory to the Father. You may ask me for anything in my name, and I will do it. – John 14:13

The enemy brings us lies and constantly tells us that:
- There is no eternity
- There is eternity, but not now
- Makes us focus only on now

The enemy only shows us the pleasure of now to distract us of the ultimate aim of Heaven.
Again, the devil took him to a very high mountain and showed him all the kingdoms of the world and their splendor. “All this I will give you,” he said, “if you will bow down and worship me.” Jesus said to him, “Away from me, Satan! For it is written: ‘Worship the Lord your God, and serve him only. – Matthew 4:8-10

Everything you do today, matters forever.

How to be driven by a sense of eternity
1. Recognize a day of judgment
Just as man is destined to die once, and after that to face judgment, so Christ was sacrificed once to take away the sins of many people; and he will appear a second time, not to bear sin, but to bring salvation to those who are waiting for him. – Hebrew 9:27-28
Then I saw a great white throne and him who was seated on it. Earth and sky fled from his presence, and there was no place for them. And I saw the dead, great and small, standing before the throne, and books were opened. Another book was opened, which is the book of life. The dead were judged according to what they had done as recorded in the books. The sea gave up the dead that were in it, and death and Hades gave up the dead that were in them, and each person was judged according to what he had done. – Rev 20:11-13
There will be judgment for the believers too … but God judges us on what we have done and rewards our efforts.
For the Son of Man is going to come in his Father’s glory with his angels, and then he will reward each person according to what he has done. – Matthew 16:27

2. Driven by a sense of eternity shapes how we live each day
Endure hardship with us like a good soldier of Christ Jesus. No one serving as a soldier gets involved in civilian affairs—he wants to please his commanding officer. Similarly, if anyone competes as an athlete, he does not receive the victor’s crown unless he competes according to the rules. The hardworking farmer should be the first to receive a share of the crops. Reflect on what I am saying, for the Lord will give you insight into all this. – 2 Timothy 2:3-7
The prophet uses 3 metaphors; the Soldier, the Athlete and the Farmer to bring across his point. The soldier does only what he is told to please his commanding officer, the athlete trains and competes to obtain the prize and the farmer sows and tends his fields to read a bountiful harvest/produce.

We must learn to please Jesus each day. Where Jesus is our commanding officer who offers the prize of eternal salvation to us. We must continue to work hard to sow seeds of truths into the lives of others, so that we can produce a bountiful harvest (of souls) for God.

All these we do and on our judgment, we will be rewarded.

3. Driven by a sense of eternity helps us endure to the end
For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. – 2 Cor 4:17-18
We are Christians 24/7 and not just when we enter church. We would probably be inconvenient because of the values we uphold as a Christian, but persevering to the end would be easier if we look upon the final end of eternal glory with Christ in Heaven.

Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last; but we do it to get a crown that will last forever. Therefore I do not run like a man running aimlessly; I do not fight like a man beating the air. No, I beat my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize. – 1 Corinthians 9:25-27
Have nothing to do with godless myths and old wives’ tales; rather, train yourself to be godly. For physical training is of some value, but godliness has value for all things, holding promise for both the present life and the life to come. – 1 Timothy 4:7-8

We need to train for Godliness to be fit for the times.

Hearing the word, receiving the word, and agreeing with the word and allow it to challenge and change us.

We don’t only get one chance, we get more than one chance to achieve Godliness. Jesus provides many chances for us to change and learn our mistakes and we should make use of every opportunity to learn and please Him.

Sow with tears, reap with joy!
Value of the produce far outweighs the hardwork. So, we are left with the the main message to go forth and be true Christians, pleasing the Lord in all that we do and yielding to His will and fulfilling our God given destiny by consistently seeking God in all that we do.

WAH! I realize the speaker gave sooooo many quotes from the Bible. Totally bombarding us with verses … ok, at least I got to read them, since I still have yet to read the bible from ‘cover to cover’. .. someday!

Fit For The Times (1)

by Rev. Margaret Tay

The pastor question us on what times do we live in? There is terrorism, nuclear threats, globalization, natural disasters, and even closer to home, there are rising numbers of teens who have casual sex, suicides (in fact, it is the top 3 causes of death among youths) and divorces. She explains that we need to understand the times to be able to be prepared for the times.

Men of Issachar (son of Jacob) understood the times and knew what God wants to do in Isreal. – 1 Chronicles 12:32

We must understand the times, that these are times of spiritual war and that we must be prepared for the deliberate attacks by the devil who will come in stealth and with intent to bring us down.
To be prepared and fit for the times, she highlights 3 main points:

1. Know our enemy
Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. – Ephesians 6:10-12

We fight against the devil, who is a liar and the father of lies (John 8:44), and who will kill, steal and destroy the precious things that God has given to us such as our family, our loves ones and our salvation (John 10:10).

It is with this in mind that we must let God take captive of our thoughts and make it obedient to God, for the Devil makes us live below our potential and makes us religious people, who are only concerned with the process and the steps of being Christian, but miss the true meaning which is to provide everlasting life through our free acknowledgment and worship of God. We must not focus on our problems but on the potential that God has given us and in so doing, fulfil our God given destiny.
Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. – 1 Peter 5:8

We must be awaken to the works of the enemy to be fit for the times!

2. Know who we are in Christ
But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light. Once you were not a people, but now you are the people of God; once you had not received mercy, but now you have received mercy. – 1 Peter 2:9-10
We are people of God, a community and through this community there is great power in. We are a chosen people, we are good enough, we do not need affirmation from people through our deeds or acts. It is only by the grace of God that we are forgiven and can achieve great things. We are royal priesthoods, we are a holy nation, made for a greater God given destiny.

3. Know what we are warring for
We are warring for the fulfilment of God’s promises, plans and purposes.

No one takes it from me, but I lay it down of my own accord. I have authority to lay it down and authority to take it up again. This command I received from my Father.” – John 10:18

We must be do-ers and not just hear-ers. If everyone merely passively hears and absorb God’s message but fails to act them out, nothing will ever be achieved. To see those promises of God fulfilled, we need to wage a spiritual war against the devil.

Because of the increase of wickedness, the love of most will grow cold, but he who stands firm to the end will be saved. – Matthew 24:12-13

In this spiritual warfare, we need to be united and stand firm with knowledge of who we are in God. It is by his grace and his power that we shall overcome all odds. (I added this in myself, heh!)

“I will have no other God before you,
With all my heart,
With all my soul,
With all my life … “

p.s. I made it to church in spite of the rush from the afternoon’s AGM for mcst 835. In fact, I reached church just about the same time I do every weekend. Great, yar!

Potential to reality

by Rev. Dominic Yeo

The sermon centres around the story in Numbers, where Moses sent forth abled men who were of high stature to survey the land that God had promised them. The land was abundant and plentiful, yet there were giants that inhabit it. The men saw that and decided that they were like grasshoppers compared to the giants. They were intimidated and did not believe that God had promised that land for them.

Numbers 13
:1-3

The LORD said to Moses, “Send some men to explore the land of Canaan, which I am giving to the Israelites. From each ancestral tribe send one of its leaders.” So at the LORD’s command Moses sent them out from the Desert of Paran. All of them were leaders of the Israelites.

:17
When Moses sent them to explore Canaan, he said, “Go up through the Negev and on into the hill country. See what the land is like and whether the people who live there are strong or weak, few or many. What kind of land do they live in? Is it good or bad? What kind of towns do they live in? Are they unwalled or fortified? How is the soil? Is it fertile or poor? Are there trees on it or not? Do your best to bring back some of the fruit of the land.” (It was the season for the first ripe grapes.)

:22 They went up through the Negev and came to Hebron, where Ahiman, Sheshai and Talmai, the descendants of Anak, lived. (Hebron had been built seven years before Zoan in Egypt.) When they reached the Valley of Eshcol, they cut off a branch bearing a single cluster of grapes. Two of them carried it on a pole between them, along with some pomegranates and figs.

They returned but gave a “lousy” report of the place as they feared that they would be defeated by the giants. In so doing, they had proclaimed their lack of faith and the people wasted away in the desert.

To turn our potential into reality,
1. Cannot have doubt in our lifes
- Doubt in the promises of God (of yea & Amen)
- Doubt the leadership that God has placed
- Regress from potential
(Numbers 4: Let us select a new leader and return to Egypt.

2. Cannot focus on the challenges before us, but the champion of our faith
- True faith is not a denial of reality, it is a spiritual law that overcomes the physical reality.
- Grace of God in our lifes.

3. Speak faith, walk faith
- Those that believe, will achieve, will receive God’s grace.

When a grain falls to the ground, it moves from potential to reality.