Fruitful Day

Accomplish many many things today. Feel damn tired liao, but quite satisfied.

Had my 1st paper for this semester this morning and it was OK. Not too tough, neither was it too easy. Just managed to complete the paper 15 mins before the end of the paper. Looks like the Prof really planned and strategize how to make sure we use all the time in the exam. Heard some people could not complete the paper. Don’t worry lah … we all end up on the curve at the end of it.

Anyway, I have no stress cos’ I know that moving up a notch in my honours is almost impossible. I would require A for everything HYP, my 2 modules before I just hit the next honours with 0.01 to spare. It’s that close and possibly, to be practical, rather impossible. So, I just study as hard as I can, understand as much as I can and do as well as I can. No stress! In fact, I like this feeling a lot.

Stress free studying!

Went to VIVO to shop after the paper. Needed to de-stress, and I think I DID!

The Food Republic there has a lot of food! Apparently, they are famous food from the different places. They had Thunder Tea Rice, which I failed to interpret as Lei Cha until much later so did not have a try. But, I’m sure, cannot beat somebody’s home cook version.

Topshop, Espirit, , ZARA, G2000, I vote my favourite store as GAP, followed by G2000. Enough said. The clothes at Topshop looks good only on the models, and maybe they only suit the Europian cut. Just don’t like their designs. Zara is nice and pro but rather dull at times. Espirit tries to be too funky or it just becomes too plain. G2000 is simple work attire. GAP seems the most informal, yet the casual feel about it is very nice.

Page One … found my Dubai guidebook “Time Out Dubai”. There were 3 to choose from, the Lonely Planet, Footprints and Time Out. Chose Time Out in the end cos’ it looked the most comprehensive and yet had a snap shot of other parts of the UAE which would probably be of interest – Abu Dhabi. Now, is to think how to cram all that ‘touristy’ thingy in the few days that I have there.

Was tempted to get the 1 GB thumb drive, for only 53.90, but I realized that as much as it was good to have, I didn’t urgently need a 1GB thumb. So, that shall wait, until the 2GB thumb prices drop and I get it even cheaper. =)

Finally had my coffee bean and carrot cake. No free wireless, unfortunately. So only typed out emails which I wanted to send. Spent like a while drafting them out. Is my English getting bad?! Whatever! I got my plans, but it’s like an If-Else condition. For now, I’m banking on the IF. Let’s hope I don’t get proved wrong. ==

Next stop, ended up at Orchard Cineleisure. Went to the Apple Store. Nope, not to complain about my iPod again. I gave up on that. If it works it works, if it doesn’t then I just pray about it, coax it, abuse it until it works properly again. I wanted to get a case for for the new iPod Nano. Wanted the plastic case from Marware, but could not find it. So, ended up getting another version, which I think is better and possibly cheaper cos’ less moving parts means less tendency to spoil. BUT, I saw a faint scratch in the front after I was on my way home. Sighs! Too much hassle to change. Lucky it’s only seen in bright light. Which is seldom the case.

Wanted to get a nice, formal and stylish bag for my Mac, but I realize that there does not exist one in the whole of Singapore and possibly the world. I have searched online, searched the shops, but there isn’t one that looks small, stylish, formal and cool. Sighs! I shall wait.

Just as I shall wait for a nice Swatch skin model to come out to replace my RIP one. I did ask the guy if I could get one similar in face and then get them to switch the strap for me. No problem. This I shall consider further.

Ok, I’m just in a weird mood, saw some people with those nice Havanna sandals and I really liked it, but at the shop at Heeren, there was only the few colours that I knew were too flashy for my liking and won’t match with anything at all. All I want was simple black. Well … I can’t have everything can I?

Hmm … looks like my ‘Wishlist’ or ‘To buy’ list just got a little shorter, but seems long still … I need to get out of Singapore. Prevent me from shopping. I know overseas, I do not like to swipe card so I have less cash to play with … haha!

Hehe … have a good weekend all. I am looking forward to Saturday … KL here I come.

No Spinelli today

Didn’t go to school today to sit at my usual spot at the Spinellis (Uni Hall) to order the same old mug of coffee.

Stayed at home today, cos’ tmr’s the paper and I didn’t feel like travelling to school. Travelling takes me almost 2 hours both ways. Quite a lot of time, if you really think about it, and considering that I live so near school. (Blame it on the transportation system, la)

Studied compiler in the morning, as I had enough of HW/SW … after lunch then decided to flip through my notes for HW/SW again, since it is tmr. It’s been a long day.
After tmr, I will be half way through. Phew!

Hahaha! Looking forward to the weekend to KL. Also, looking forward to the Dec trip.

It’s always nice to be looking forward to something. It lifts the soul and brightens the day.

I am ready to take the exam

Yup, I am, but it’s on Thursday.

I think I can’t do very much more within the next 2 days to improve the situation. I think I have covered most ground and everything seems in order.

So, I shall not stress myself out, but just slowly look through my notes again and spot any thing which I had missed out.

I think few hours of Spinelli does help in the end.

To the comment spammers

May you have your retribution!

It must be me lah

Where ever I go to trying to study, I get distracted. Hmm …

Well, at least for sometime I was fine at the Uni Hall Spinellis. There were also a couple of other people studying there. Add pressure. haha!

Finally settled my claims for being TA.

2 more days to the paper. So far so good, just that I’m not sure what the paper will be like, cos’ there had not been any tutorial for this module, there was only 1 midterm , and I am clueless about the questioning style of this lecturer. Even past year papers are not accurate as he just took over the module and might change the style of questioning.

Well, I am hoping that the paper would be similar to his midterms and assignments. Do-able!

It was raining so heavily today. My feet were all wet and I had just washed my sandals yesterday. Hmm … It’s never going to get clean. Just not going to work … eh? Can’t change to shoes also leh, cos’ if rain than shoes gets soggy and gross and the feeling is worst that wearing wet sandals.

Dun mind me, I’m just grumbling as I always do … which bring up another gripe … was not able to get my fav carrot cake from coffee bean, sighs … “You all don’t have carrot cake?” … “It’s not that we don’t have, it’s sold out.”  … duh! just say it’s sold out lah …

Studying

Not much time left to study.

In fact, not much time left to study even if I wanted to.

Find it so difficult to get the information into my head. It’s refusing to head in. It’s not concentrating enough to understand simple words. Maybe after fighting the ‘war’ of assignments, I feel so tired that I don’t even want to pick a fight anymore with the exams.

I shall head down to sch tmr to do some drumming into this thick skull.

To all the students, all the best in the exams.

To all the students taking the same module as me: all the best too, but don’t ’spoil the market’!

iPod-volution

The history of my iPods.

It started out in 2004, when I decided, after much contemplation to get an iPod. I got the 40 GB one at that time. It was the best model at that time, the 4th Generation. I was preparing to go overseas and wanted all my songs with me. It worked like a charm and lasted me throughout 2005 until 2006 when I had to have it’s battery replaced. Got a different iPod back in return and ear phone jack seems to have problem every so often. It still works, but occasionally is faulty. I live with it.

Got my MacBook from NUS and got my 1st iPod nano black at $16.25 and it was a charm too, for short trips as it only had 1 GB of songs. A week later, they released the 2nd Generation of iPod nano.

Darn! It was the same price.

Today, I got the 2nd Generation iPod nano for free. Well, it’s my mum who won some lucky draw at the country club, but I told her I will exchange mine with hers. haha. I wanted more storage. this had 2 GB compared to my 1 GB only.

Probably have to spend some time loading the 1GB nano with my mum favourite songs then let her use it. If not it would just be left there and gone to waste as she is clueless about what an MP3 was, asking me “How do you put a CD in, it’s so small?” … hmm … it’s a long way more before I can actually explain that CDs are almost a relic these days.

So, here are the iPods:

Faith Redefined

I missed the usual adult service at 5 pm because I was in school completing the Compiler with my friend. It’s working and we have uploaded it into the CVS ready for submission. No more major changes unless there are any BIG bugs caught.

I think I’m very blessed. To be  resentful of the world would be seriously ungrateful, considering so many nice and wonderful people that God had sent my way. They each add a little colour into my life. Providing me fresh ideas, broader perspectives and sweet treats. Haha! Guess, it’s a God-given day!

Missed the adult service and went on down to the YAS or Young Adult Service and the Pastor speaking today was someone I never met before. She was very earnest and delivered a great message. At the end of all that was said, there was one thing that caught me. I shall not post the entire message as I normally do, but here’s what I took away from the service:

Do not throw away your confidence, it will be richly rewarded. – Hebrew 10: 35

In bright orange tag it appeared to the Pastor, but to me it was a resounding ’smack’ on the head.

I never doubt the victory, yet, I am so curious of what the victory will be.

No destination this time around.

Just a direction.

To lead me on …

Conversation with …

the taxi uncle as the whole bunch of us headed down to Golden Mile to get the bus tickets.

The uncle was both proud and arrogant, according to my friend. To me, he just seemed awfully shallow and sad. Yet he said that I was someone with no fighting spirit. Maybe it’s true? Perhaps.

He was talking about what every graduate would do when they are graduating, plan for their future and budget and make all the calculations, etc … I said, I didn’t and so he concluded that I was not the driven sort.

Maybe … maybe not … I’m more confused a person rather than having a lack of drive. I have a purpose, yet the purpose might not be necessary the right thing or the best thing. In fact, I will never know if it’s right.

I don’t have much room for maneuver at all … but, I shall let the world talk … i shall let the world pas me by … a friend said how good it will be if we could just live through life without any goals. “We all lived only once, why not go through it smoothly?” I don’t agree with that. Without a goal and aim, life is just waking and sleeping. There would not seem to be anything useful to do, neither would there be anything to look forward to. Each day would be a pain to live through. The sense of emptiness that would probably shroud around someone that really did not have anything in life.

Yet, how are we to be sure that we are headed in the right direction. There really isn’t a right direction, is there? I think I have been in my ivory tower for too long. Sometimes, I even envy the people that have their armoury of ‘failures’ which equip them with experience necessary to face reality. I, only hold my broom stick and still ‘play’ and imagine it to be my mighty sword. A lot of people wonder what if i was … but there is never knowing. Life is given this way and we grow this way too. Butterfly effect!? Change something and everything in the world might be so screwed you hate it even more.
Whatever it is, I want to step out. I want to step out of this place. I feel back in the tower whenever I am back in SG. It’s like I am looking at the world from a distance and everything just passes me by without my participation at all. It’s like I don’t belong. My mum showed me a phrase yesterday “天下是我容处”  which is almost a literal translation of the world is my place. For me, I’m in search of the little piece of heaven for me, for myself. I thought I knew, but perhaps it was something that someone else led me to believe that I knew. Maybe the taxi uncle was right, I just had no drive and was letting the people around me, the environment I am in the push me on. I’m like drift wood in the big blue ocean, letting the waves take me at their mercy.

Sometimes I hate myself for not knowing what exactly I want. It’s like years of ’suppression’ hides the emotions and feelings so much that there is now no feeling towards anything. No passion for any particular thing. But, I guess many people face the same issue. The sun screen song: most people are still figuring it out when they are 40. I have 15 years more to figure it out, eh?

and yes, I have an auntie that quit her very high paying job to fly all the way to the USA to take a phd in Christian theology. She’s happily graduated now and doing something she loves. It’s great that someone can be so passionate about something to give up everything. The feeling must be inspiring and all consuming. Something I guess no amount of Spinelli coffee is going to get me to that feeling of high.

So, even as I trek towards the final destination, which draws ever closer, I am not afraid of what it brings, but more upset that the destination just seems blurry and further than I thought. Two steps forward but the destination seemed to have taken two steps forward too. It’s like playing catch up and yet never catching up. Maybe it’s a sign that the destination is not right, and that I need to re-orientate and head in a new direction. Maybe it was all along with me that I needn’t head further. Maybe it was already where I had come from.

Dear God,

Sorry for being such a confused child. The signs you have sent might have fallen on deaf ears. Hit me in the head to show me the sign, instead, since I seem to be blind to signs or hints. Yet, thank you for having faith in your child,  bringing hope in my life, instilling peace in my spirit and granting me the future victory in my life. I am naught without you. Hope, I know, must not be place in things human, faith, I know, must not be in things mundane, peace, I know, is not found in things physical, victory, I know, is not found in me alone.

Amen.

September 22

Chance upon this email and I saw it describe people for each day of the year.

Here’s mine:

Hmm …. hmm ….